Boston Marathon 2013

Most of my friends and family are from Boston. Having gone to college just a 15 minute walk from where the bombs exploded during the Boston Marathon on April 15th, I'm in shock of how all of us connected to Boston have been affected, and how our nation has been affected.

I would like to just reflect on the experience I've had in connection to the events of this week. Please read on to hear my frustration, my passion, and my love.

Some of the reactions I've heard to the 3 dead and 178 wounded from the Boston bombings have been, "oh only 3 dead?" or "why is everyone so upset, 32 people died in Afghanistan today." The media that we have created is a society of numbers - no names, no sympathy, empathy, compassion. Yet, a person hears a bomb explode, watches a person cry, feels the blood on the ground, and their life is changed forever from that moment. The people who have died in Afghanistan have names which should be shared, and there statistics should not be as significant. The 3 victims from Monday; 8 year-old Martin Richard, 29 year-old Krystle Campbell, and a Boston University graduate student named Lingzi Lu of China - they should be remembered for their names and their stories. They're not just the 3 fatalities that the bombings caused - they are people, and millions - millions - of people have felt connected to them because of the tragic way in which their lives were taken from them. That is what is beautiful and should be reported on the news.

Anyone who is connected to the internet can see that MSNBC, CNN, and FoxNews (but no surprise there), have all been spreading inaccurate and downright offensive press to the public. A public, who is overall confused, worried and upset at what has unfolded this week.

I have been asking anyone and everyone to pray and think of all those involved in the attacks, and affected by them.

The reason prayer is so powerful is because its a million positive vibes working together which can ultimately change the mood of a nation. Prayer is just positive thoughts with a specific focus. Boston has always been a resilient city full of people who can easily unite simply on the basis of being from the same area, loving the same sports team, or being the same amount of drunk. Positive vibes help that resilience thrive.

Surrounding all of these events have been crazy, and downright ignorant political remarks regarding Muslims, and radicalism. Radicalism, is a disease that has infected religions and cultures all over the world. It is a dramatized, and evil kind of thinking that can easily take a lost child and turn him into a soldier for "god." This is a disease that has infected Christianity, caused corruption within religious institutions, and has created branches of radical groups everywhere from radical anti-abortionists, the Westboro Baptist Church, all the way to Al-Qaeda. Radicalism is a disease because powerful and self-righteous individuals prey on the weak to join their movement. It is a brainwash, and it is a global issue that has affected millions of people and caused countless casualties since before 2001.   Radicalism in the Middle East has caused such an uproar of fear and anger in people who do not fully understand it that Islamaphobia is on the rise and Muslims are often targeted as being 'evil' people. Muslims, who I might add, also condemn radicalism and look down upon those who have encouraged the radical view of Islam.

It has been the cause of all terrorist attacks in the past several decades, and unfortunately I live in a generation where the face of those radicalism groups has been painted by media and leaders as a group of angry Muslims. Those people can call themselves Muslims the same way that the father of a cult group can call himself the reincarnate savior. I wish that we lived in a time where we could look at radicalists and hear what they say and think "I hope that someone helps them, and I hope that no one believes they are right." If your belief is in harming others, then your God is not from nirvana, paradise, the kingdom, heaven, etc. All religions (not cults) have one thing in common that I can say for sure - do good, be good. 

It is my prayer that all of us who have not been swayed in radicalism, can hope and pray for those who have. A 19 year-old bomber? I pity him through all of the anger and the pain he has caused. I cannot see a 19 year-old murderer as anything other than a victim of his own mind. 

I believe that strength of heart and mind is what will bring peace. It is the weak who can be swayed to radicalism, it is the desperate, and the lonely, the people who have no where else to turn. And then on their shoulder they have a person with kind eyes holding out their hands, telling them they care about them, and all of that desperation and loneliness can be blamed on somebody, on a nation, on a city. If all the love in a persons life is felt from one wolf in sheep's clothing, then someone who is in pain will fail to see beyond the sheep.

If anyone is in a relationship of any kind that has caused them to isolate themselves and segregate from others who have shown care for them, then let me just say this - we are not meant to be alone.

To anyone who feels such an immense amount of anger in their lives - radical groups against; LGBT, a race, a culture, a belief, a religion, etc. To those people who feel that an act of hatred is the only way they can find peace... or even to the non-radicals who resort to violence, substance abuse, or simply mistreat themselves or the people in their lives who love them...
Newsflash. Hatred or anger will NEVER bring you peace.

Thanks for listening.

St. Patrick's in St. Augustine

St. Augustine, as few probably know, was a bishop with various philosophical knowledge. He read a lot, and knew about a lot of different beliefs before he chose to convert to Christianity in the late 300s. St. Augustine's story is rather mundane compared to a saint known as the "Apostle of Ireland," who few people actually know any good facts about. Aside from celebrating his death on March 17th all over the Christian world - St. Patrick's Day is also known to pretty much every American as a secular and juvenile holiday filled with lots of green, and lots of alcohol. I guess that's the best way for an Irishman to celebrate the anniversary of someone's death. Hollah to the college students who feel me on that one.
The best place to celebrate St. Patrick's day for me was always in Boston. South Boston brings an Irish pride to the city. Boston was also a city that originated on the backs of the working class who's ancestors were Irish slaves, just like St. Patrick. Pride. The past 3 years I've spent St. Patties in Boston. It's been memorable, intoxicating, and wonderful.

This year, I took my Boston pride down to Florida for the weekend and celebrated St. Patrick with St. Augustine. I love St. Augustine. Having grown up on the ocean, boating, fishing, rowing, diving, and all of that good stuff - I have so much love for a beautiful place with a beautiful ocean and beaches. Waves always calm me down, and islands are giant playgrounds.

I spent the weekend listening to really good music, dancing, relaxing, sun-burning, and all in the good company of my best friend and favored travel partner, Isabela.
Boston can't top that St. Patties Day, sorry Celts. Between going to live gigs, walking on the beach at night, and riding a war veteran's jetski - I really can't say what I loved doing the most. Mmm the sushi.
As for living in St. Augustine... I don't know if the small town life would ever be for me. Not unless I knew how to make a potato gun, and it was a place where there's more snow in the winter. The marina life though, that is definitely for me. I think this summer is going to be a great one full of cherished friends and oceanic adventures. I know I'm enjoying my last semester of undergrad, but lets speed it up to May now, shall we?

Leaving St. Augustine definitely gave me something to look forward to and something to miss.

Thanks, family, for a great spring break.

Preventive Services

My senior year internship has been at a field placement in preventive services. Everyone knows that the Association of Child Services (ACS) is this group of evil social workers who come in to happy homes and take children from their loving family situation. Well, now I can tell you what actually happens. What actually happens is a report is made if a child misses too much school, if there's a domestic violence incident - essentially if a child is reported as being unsafe in any way - then ACS does a 30 day investigation to determine whether there is a safety concern. After that investigation ACS either takes the child out of the home and puts the child temporarily into foster care until the home/family situation can be deemed safe (courts always get involved), or something else happens - that's not my job so I don't know too much about it. I do know that usually those temporary foster homes are kin or next of kin. There's a lot of knitty gritty detail there.

Let me tell you about my job instead. Preventive service comes in when ACS refers cases to the agency. Cases like that are usually to prevent the family from being separated, or to bring a family back together after having been separated. Essentially, the preventive services department at my agency is a referral based agency. Get a case, make assessments, send kids to tutoring, mentoring, after school programs, counseling, drug tests, etc. Send parents to parenting classes, support groups, therapy, anger management, rehab, and all that other stuff too. A lot of parents have children in foster care. A lot of those parents were in foster care as children. Studies have shown that parents who were in foster care are more likely to have children who end up in foster care. Sad but true. So I make referrals, counsel my clients, make visits at schools and at homes, meet with teachers, other case workers, collaborate with a million other agencies and services - then write it all down so that everything is documented.

Working in child welfare is certainly a difficult task. Most of the clients are referred, or mandated - very few cases are parents seeking advocacy.  Some clients are willing to do what they need to do in order to close their case and create a positive environment for their family. Some clients will do everything they can do to give their case planner a hard time and get them out of their face - sometimes in the most difficult and complex way possible.

There are two things working in child welfare has taught me. 1) This job is hard work. Every day is an emotional roller coaster because everything you do is reliant on the cooperation of everyone else. Clients and collaborators can almost never be trusted to complete what is asked of them, and even if they are trusted, case planners still have to be on their butt to make sure things are getting done so that the case can close. We are supposed to have a 12 month turnover rate. The day is full of chasing people around, calling different numbers, and going to different locations because no one will return your email, fax, phone call, or mail. The people who do cooperate make you kind of want to hug them, or send them a thank you card. Hours can keep a person working as late as 9pm in and out of dangerous neighborhoods in Brooklyn, the Bronx, and Harlem - I haven't heard of many cases in Manhattan through our agency though. We're mostly Brooklyn based. I work in areas of the city that I probably would have never ventured to otherwise, so I'm grateful to the different version of New York that I may not have experienced otherwise. Most of the neighborhoods look the same. There's a million nail and hair salons, liquor and wine on every corner, lots of shelters and project buildings, playgrounds every few blocks, mostly buses and not as many subways, some kind of 'metro deli' every where you go, and in the more populated areas there's always a burger king, popeyes, or mcdonalds.

2) The second thing that working in child welfare has taught me is that you are never going to be rewarded for doing this hard work, at least not through praise or salary. ACS and preventive services are hard industries that have forgotten empathy, and done everything possible to ignore the fact that this is an emotionally difficult field to work in. There's not very much debriefing going on for workers who have cases everyday with crack addicts, prostitutes, pimps, angry clients, overly attached clients, clients who do nothing for themselves, clients who think you are there to do everything for them, etc. Sometimes you work with people who want to work with you but their children are still getting arrested for assault. Sometimes you work with people who scream at you, belittle, and disrespect you as best they can, kick you out of their apartments before you finish your job. Workers are sometimes put into dangerous situations, or scary situations. For example, the female worker has to monitor the daughter visiting her father at Riker's Island Prison. The father was locked up for rape, assault, or something equally as intimidating. These are just every day situations. If the client is non-compliant we have elevated risk conferences, sometimes have to call police... sometimes clients call police or threaten to sue us for doing our jobs. I think you get the picture. All that for $36,000 a year. Oof. Is it worth it? Well, there are moments when your supervisor says you've done good work and have a good turnover rate. There's times when your client isn't giving you a hard time. Sometimes clients will tell me they love me. Sometimes I get a thank you just for listening. When I go to the children's schools and take them out of class to meet with me, they are always appreciative. After my teenage clients start improving their grades, going to school regularly, and getting excited about their future, or my parent clients start taking their medicine regularly, and attending therapy - yeah. I'd say that those big changes are beautiful and can make it worth the rough hours and low wages. But the working through ambivalence towards change part can be rough.

I'm learning a lot from my agency, and a lot about child welfare and working with alllll kinds of different people. I've become really close with the girl that I intern with, and I'm friends with a few of my coworkers. My goal was to make something good in the environment because otherwise it is high stress, high tension, many deadlines - all the time.

Friday night happy hour is always something to look forward to.