I know this blog is supposed to be entirely about my studying abroad, but I think since I am essentially never home and always experiencing new things that I want to talk about, that I should continue writing antes de mi viaje a España.
Yesterday I began my summer journey at the Metropolis of Boston Camp (MBC) where I've been attending as a camper since 1998, and as a counselor for 3 years now. The camp itself has a lot of room for operational improvements, and organizational needs; but I love being here for the kids and getting to know our next generation. God-willing I'll even play a small role in shaping the next generation. Actually... that might be a little scary.
Since the camp plays such a huge role in my life, and it is a religious environment, I have always felt like returning there is returning to an opportunity where I can become more grounded, and realize the little pieces of myself that I may have dropped along my journey.
First, I get to camp and realize I curse too much, but that it is really easy to stop if I wanted to.
Second, I realize that, although I have studied the Orthodox Christian religion thoroughly, I do not pray enough or read enough. I often realize that the more I learn about my faith, the more I learn about myself; and the more silence and alone-time I have in my life, the more morally, and emotionally solidified I can be. Sometimes I'm so caught up in being fuerte for other people (friends, family, campers, etc) that I forget that I need to be fuerte for myself. I organize everything in my life except for my emotions; its the one thing I seem to not have enough time for, but the it is also the one thing that is often most important.
A friend of mine got me thinking about what it is I want to be doing as a profession... or at least the reasoning behind it. Since I was in high school the goal has been some kind of psychology, or social work. Right now I'm on the social work path. All of the work I've done in my life abroad and at home, however emotionally taxing, has made me fall in love with social work. I think that my separation of work from myself has never been difficult, the only thing that has made social work difficult for me is my health and the exhausting way that the programs I've experienced have been organized. On my trip to Romania we had no sleep, and it was emotionally and physically taxing because of it. The work I did in the Dominican Republic was not even difficult, or emotionally taxing, but it became that way because of the amount of work and the way that the program was organized. The work in West Virginia and Mexico building houses was physically taxing, but otherwise not emotionally difficult. And then there's camp. Camp is one of the most rewarding, emotionally and physically exhausting things I have done in my life. It's possible that I feel more reward when I'm continually bogged down, maybe because I'm proud of myself for getting through it. Essentially, all of these work, study, and volunteer experiences have helped me decide what it is I want to do. I'm still figuring out how it is that I can get through these different experiences and whether or not the way that I do so is healthy por mi mente y cuerpo. In retrospect, as long as I can organize the separation of work and play and have a better balance, than social work will always be my passion.
No one ever stops learning about themselves, and I'm praying that since I finally am really comfortable at camp and know what I am doing, that I can have an opportunity to step back and look at my life in the big picture. The balance between myself and my surroundings is definitely a main focus, and I think I've learned a great deal already... it's only day 2! If I can manage to stay healthy in mind, body, and spirit, than I have faith that everything will fall into place the way that God intended. While growing and achieving all of these goals little by little, I am learning that I can feel at home anywhere as long as I am giving a little piece of my heart to where and what I am doing.
Camp is home for now.
Balance, focus, and patience, are definitely three of my main priorities for the rest of the summer. Time to teach kids cool stuff and make new friends... Godsquad style!
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